TIQA: Good men to great men, breakthroughs & admiration
“Depth. Clarity. Next Steps. In under 5 minutes, every other week.”
Here’s your TIQA.
One Theme, one Insight, one Quote, and one Action — to help you show up more fully for yourself and those you love.
Take what’s useful. Chuck the rest.
The Theme
This week brought major breakthroughs—big returns on soulful investments, both personal and emotional.
One man, who had been mugged as a child and again as a teenager, reclaimed his will to take risks in life again. This is a game-changer. The old story of "I won't open doors because of what may be lurking on the other side" shattered and a new empowering story took it's place: "My self-love is power, and it's strong enough to keep me safe." BOOM. Staff in the ground. 'Nuf said.
Another man, in a moment of brutal honesty, challenged the part of himself that was resentful at having to change. His old habits of narcissism shrank like fearful demons in the light of the sun as he claimed his power back. This is a quantum leap. He became his own agent of positive change. His own healer.
Yet another man, confused about how to get his life back, humbled himself with an honest self-assessment by recognizing how far he still has to go. Yet instead of discouragement, he felt emboldened by the discovery that he is here to bring a true gift to the world—and that he has no other choice but to labor in love to bring it forward.
Finally, a middle aged man wanting more from life walked into his first session and fully committed to “severing at the root” the mental loops that drain his energy and lean boldly into the process of discovering and living his greatest life’s purpose. His 2.0 begins now.
These are tremendous, life-changing breakthroughs. This week, I feel deeply honored to be a witness of these men as they transform their old stories and habits into satisfying, purposeful lives.
…and the week isn’t over yet.
The Insight
I see men in marriages who limp into my office, not because they are weak, but because they are strong — but, their strength has been misguided.
They’ve lived for years enacting what they thought they should do rather than knowing their deeper needs and advocating for a world that honors those needs personally and universally.
These are good men, but they don’t know themselves. They often fall victim to self-sacrifice which dilutes their potency, resulting in disappointing outer circumstances. Service to others—work, family, children—while important and noble, too often becomes a mask that hides the absence of self-love.
The real work begins when a man discovers that his needs matter just as much as the women and children in his life.
This is not a call for a more selfish man, this is a call for a man who knows how to love himself so he may truly give love, not just take it.
Our culture has affirmed men’s right to occupy space in business, politics, and institutions, but rarely in the realm of feeling and connection.
If more men were affirmed that their hearts mattered as much as their heads, we would see fewer narcissists and more fathers, husbands, and leaders who understand the necessity of true partnership.
Great men protect the world from tyranny — not because of a mission of shoulds, but because they’re intimately familiar with the sacredness of their own hearts.
From there, good instincts kick in. They know when and how to stand up and fight and when to surrender. They know their “YES” and their “NO” and how to find them.
These are the trustable leaders.
The Quote
“The only wealth which you will keep forever is the wealth you have given away.”
- Marcus Aurelius
Although I find it tempting to see this aphorism through a monetary lens, it has me asking something else: “What is true wealth?”
“How am I working with it? How am I giving and receiving in the currency of the soul?”
The Action
This week’s action is a small yet potent investment into your own soul’s bank account where true wealth begins.
Find a man you admire. Quietly—just within your own mind—reflect on what you appreciate about him. Feel that admiration deeply. Recognize that this man has lived, struggled, survived, triumphed, failed, and everything in between.
Now, notice what happens in your body as you sit with that appreciation. Can you access it? How does it feel?
Then, take the next step: realize that this man is a reflection of you. The very qualities you admire in him also live within you. Give yourself that same appreciation.
This simple act builds your direct connection to the goodness of life and takes that responsibility out of the hands of women (and work)—and places it back where it belongs: within the agency of your own heart.
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https://wholemanmentorship.com/articles/tiqa-good-men-to-great-men-breakthroughs-admiration
Until next time,
Tyler White
Visionary Relationship & Life Mentorship
p.s. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: The danger of a single story | TED